Valentine’s Day can stir up a range of emotions. For some, it is a joyful celebration, while for others, it can bring up feelings of loneliness, pressure, and self-doubt. If you fall into the latter category and you dread the approach of the ‘love-fest’, for whatever reason, we recommend you try an alternative Valentine’s Day this year: embrace the occasion as an opportunity to make some time for yourself, and prioritise your mental wellbeing instead. Here are a few ways you can do it.
Make Time that’s Just for You
Carve out some time on Valentine’s Day (or around it) that you will devote to doing something that you love, that you don’t normally manage to prioritise for yourself – something that feels like a treat. That is a little slice of self-care, and it is a vital part of
maintaining your mental and emotional health.
- Have a spa night at home: run a warm bath, add a few drops of your favourite essential oil (like lavender for relaxation), and light some candles. Try to leave emotional stresses and strain at the bathroom door, and enjoy a moment of stillness to just ‘be’ in the warmth of the water.
- Creating: painting, drawing, baking, or crafting are hobbies and interests that often end up at the bottom of the pile, but they are very restorative. Set aside some time that will be just for doing your favourite creative activity, without any pressure on
yourself to produce something perfect. - Let the words flow: just writing, anything at all, can do wonders for your state of mind. Officially called journaling, all you need is a pen and paper to start scribbling. You can write anything but it sometimes helps to start with a prompt, such as things
in your life you are grateful for, or mapping out your hopes for the future. The act of writing can give you more clarity, reduce stress, and help you process emotions.
So instead of being something to dread, you could use your alternative Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to do something you will really enjoy. These ideas are not just for Valentine’s Day either. Make them part of your schedule all year round, and you’ll feel the benefit of reserving some specific time for you.
Managing Expectations and Social Pressures
From retailers to social media there is a lot of noise around Valentine’s Day, which can often lead to feelings of inadequacy or comparison if we feel we’re not doing the things that everyone else appears to be.
Here are some ways to get past these pressures:
- Shift your perspective: Valentine’s Day does not define your worth or happiness. You can spend it however is right for you and it is only one day in the year – it will be over before you know it.
- Be kind to yourself: if you find yourself feeling down or comparing your experience to what others seem to be doing, pause and show yourself some compassion. What would you say to a friend who was feeling the same way? Speak to yourself as kindly as you would to them.
- Set healthy boundaries: if certain situations or expectations feel overwhelming, avoid them. Whether that means saying no to events or protecting that quiet time for yourself, choosing your emotional wellbeing is always an option.
Unplug with a Social Media Detox
Social media can make Valentine’s Day particularly overwhelming, as we’re flooded with curated images and posts that can intensify the pressure to compare your life with theirs. If you feel that sort of pressure gets to you, consider a social media detox – even if it’s just for 24 hours. Try logging out for the day, and instead make a conscious effort to replace the scrolling with something else: if you’re tempted to reach for your phone, try a few moments of deep breathing or a short meditation. Connect with people offline instead: contact a friend or loved one in person, over the phone or send a text. Genuine connections feel far more fulfilling than interacting with those carefully presented social media posts, and dealing with the emotions you may feel afterwards.
Valentine’s Day should be about celebrating love in all its forms, especially the love and compassion we show ourselves. So whether you spend the day soaking in a bubble bath, baking up a storm, or simply savouring some peace and quiet, remember that you’re
nurturing a very important relationship – the one you have with yourself.
Like every celebration in the calendar, Valentine’s Day is what you make it. Prioritising our mental health is one of the most meaningful ways to spend the day, and an excellent alternative Valentine’s Day to the traditional ones.