Finding online couples therapy after an affair | What to consider

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Finding online couples therapy after an affair | What to consider

An affair is a top cause for divorce; however, it is possible for couples to come out stronger than ever. Around 15-20% of married couples cheat but statistics show that 31% of married partners will stay together and try to work through their marriage.

Understanding the reason the affair took place, and trying to address these issues to strengthen your bond can be great steps towards healing your relationship. Online couples therapy can be particularly useful for couples dealing with the aftermath of an affair, and many couples prefer this to in-person therapy.

Are you considering online couples therapy? Here, we explain the benefits of online couples therapy and what to consider when finding online couples therapy.

How can online couples counselling help after an affair?

Speaking with a couples counsellor or therapist about your issues and what may have led to an affair can help with coping methods and developing a more effective way to communicate.

Online therapy can particular can be ideal if you and your partner are healing from an affair, as it can often be more comfortable if each of you feels awkward sitting in the same room. Online therapy can also feel much less confrontational, and you may benefit from the emotional space of not having your partner immediately next to you.

As opposed to in-person therapy, online therapy also means there is no need to travel to and from your therapist’s office. After an affair has taken place, the last thing you may want to do is travel out of your way for a therapy session.

Online couples therapy may help to:

  • Improve communication

  • Allow you to learn to empathise with your partner

  • Learn to handle disagreements more constructively

  • Allow you to prevent similar issues from arising in the future

  • Allow both of you to better understand what may have caused the affair – for example, feeling disconnected or having an affair as a form of revenge.

Find out more about the benefits of online couples therapy here.


How successful is online couples therapy, and is it worth trying?

Rebuilding a relationship is hard work, particularly when trust is concerned; however, the effectiveness of couples therapy proves that it can be a great help in assisting the healing of a relationship. In fact, a commonly discussed figure in this category of psychology is that 70% of couples benefit from a trained counsellor’s intervention.

What to consider when finding couples therapy after an affair

We recommend finding a therapist that has experience in providing therapy for couples, as opposed to just individuals.

Once you have explained your issues and what you want to overcome to your therapist, they will only provide a therapy technique that they feel is ideal for you both and your circumstance. When trying couples counselling, there are several methods that your counsellor may adopt to help save your relationship and rebuild trust:

  • Behavioural couples therapy

  • Cognitive behavioural therapy

  • Emotionally focused couples therapy

  • Gottman therapy

  • Narrative therapy

  • Positive psychology.

If you are interested in a particular method of therapy, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, you may want to consider using a therapist who specialises in providing this particular service. However, there is no guarantee that a therapist will see this method as the most ideal option.

We also recommend finding a service with positive reviews and who has a good reputation with providing family therapy services, such as couples therapy.

You may additionally want to look into a therapist’s training and experience before contacting them. For example – do they have enough experience in dealing with couples? What qualifications do they have?

Are you nervous about seeking couples therapy? Read what to expect here.

What type of marriage therapist should you use?

This is dependent on the couple, for example, if cheating was brought about by feelings of low self-esteem in the unfaithful partner, a therapist who can provide cognitive behavioural therapy can work on the cycles that cause destructive behaviour from negative thoughts and feelings. This allows positive cycles to be put in place instead. Your therapist will explain how they can help you and what methods they recommend.

Common queries – finding online couples therapy after an affair

How much does online marriage/relationship counselling cost?

Costs vary depending on the service you choose and how many sessions you will need. You can find out more about costs and the different ways to pay for therapy here.

Should you stay married after an affair?

This is completely dependent on the couple. Although issues surrounding an affair can be overcome, it depends if both partners are willing to work hard and open themselves up emotionally to work to fix themselves and the relationship.

What percentage of marriages survive after an affair?

Around 30% of married partners will stay together and try to work through their marriage.

When can you start online couples therapy?

If you feel you could benefit from couples therapy and that your relationship has the potential to heal after an affair, we recommend reaching out to a couples therapist.

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